The Passenger Seat

2/?

The alarm jolts her awake. 6:20 AM. She lazily digs her phone out of the tangled light green covers. The bright screen burns her eyes as she squints to turn off the alarm. A notification then shows on the screen. A text: Hey morning She smiles weakly and types through hazy vision: Goodmorningggg She drops the phone back onto her bed and rolls over, her face buried in the covers again, wiggling her toes. Her eyes slowly close again, mind racing still in a half-dreamlike state, and she almost drifts back off to sleep before realizing and forcing her eyes wide open and ripping the covers off and throwing her legs over the side of her bed. She rubs her eyes and stands up and shuffles over to turn on her overhead light. When she flips the switch the light almost blinds her and she winces. Glancing around her room and wobbling tiredly, her eyes land on a rough but impressive sketch on notebook paper of a confederate soldier that’s taped up on her wall. A scene flashes in her mind: She’s whining and pushing her twin sister out of the room as she snickers. “Annie you dork ass! Hold on hold on stop…” Annie responds by pushing her harder and whining louder: “Get… Out, Hanna!” Hanna absorbs Annie’s weak shoves and laughs harder. “Stop, I got it, lost cause! You’re a lost cause!” Annie stops for a moment and then shoves her whole body at Hanna head first. “Stop Hanna! I freaking told you don’t come in my room! Get out!” The door slams. Hanna is cackling in the hallway. And she’s back now, staring at the picture again. She looks down and sighs with a wistful smirk as she goes to open the door to the hallway. When she opens the door she looks up and sees Hanna in the bathroom brushing her teeth. They make eye contact. Hanna makes a noise while continuing to brush that follows the rhythm of a “good morning, Annie.” Annie nods. “Morning.” She slowly looks over at Josie’s door and her face tightens as her eyes linger there. A second later, the door jerks open loudly and Annie softly gasps and slips back into her room. She sweeps her door closed with her foot so that it’s just ajar and she stands behind it for a moment. Don’t even. She sits back on the edge of her bed and grabs her phone again. A few minutes have passed. No notifications. She sinks down a bit and glances out the window where the curtains were never closed the night before. The sun is just rising over the horizon, the gentle orange light spilling through the fresh little green tree leaves. The clouds are fluffy and full against a slightly foggy spring sky. She can see over their back fence to another house’s front porch, with two flags gently waving in the morning breeze. One the palmetto flag, the other more faded and torn. “Are you almost done.” Josie’s hoarse morning voice from the hallway cuts through Annie’s daze. She sinks down further and quiets her breathing. Hanna gives no response to Josie. Annie is jolted when she hears Josie’s door slam shut. Annie stares at the carpeted floor, the bright overhead light illuminating the room unnaturally. Her vision goes dark and her eyes water as she forgets to blink, lost in thought. She’s back in yesterday’s class. Class hadn’t started yet. Kids were still trudging in through the door and plopping down in their seats. She already had her history notebook out, sketching whatever popped into her mind in the margins of the pages: flowers, revolvers, a horse, a castle. She hears the teacher’s voice engaged in a short conversation with someone outside the doorway. A deep, raspy voice can just barely be picked out over the loud chatter in the hallway. In he steps, the teacher closing the door behind them. His hair is dark and flat and falls over his forehead kind of crooked. He’s almost comically tall. His black jacket is zipped up and falls baggy over his thin frame. His black joggers hug his calves, or lack thereof, and his black tennis shoes look odd against his skinny legs. His tired looking eyes have dark circles but are sweet and relaxed. He lumbers toward the desks, hunched over, his overfilled bookbag protruding out. He gently sets his bookbag down and slowly lowers himself into the seat next to Annie, in the second row from the front, periodically glancing between the floor and her the whole time. Annie softly puts her pen down and sneakily side-eyes him. He’s staring right at her. Annie looks up and turns and stares back. Her eyes quickly dart away to the ground. Then back up. He finally breaks the silence: “Hey.” She smiles and looks away. “Hey.” The teacher walks up to the front of the class and begins his lecture. As Annie scribbles down barely legible notes in her notebook, the boy plays on his laptop, glancing over at Annie every other minute. When class begins to wrap up and the teacher sits down at his desk, Annie looks back over at Jeremy. He’s intently focused on whatever game is on his laptop screen. He glances over again, and catches her eye looking at him. He pauses his game and turns toward her. “Hey.” She smiles again. “Hey…” He glances away. She doesn’t. “I don’t recognize you. Are you new?” He looks back. “Uh, yeah. Just moved here several weeks ago.” She looks down and slightly wrinkles her nose and quickly closes her notebook and slips it into her black bookbag. “Oh, where from.” “Charlotte.” She slightly exhales, hesitates, but then extends her hand out straight toward him. “Um. I’m Annie. It’s good to meet you.” “Um. Jeremy.” The two awkwardly shake hands. Then look away from each other afterward. Her face starts to turn red as she tries to hide a smile growing across her face. A buzz from her phone jolts her back into the present world. Her eyes dart to her phone sitting beside her on the bed. She picks it up. A notification from his number: Hey ik its early but would you wanna hang out later this week Her face is tight but her heart jumps. She jumps off her bed landing stick-straight, and she frantically types out and sends message before she registers what it says: Sore Under the message, “Delivered” turns to “Read 6:36 AM” instantly. She gasps and corrects herself: Sure! Again, “Read 6:36 AM”, instantly. Wide-eyed, she turns her phone off and throws it back down on her bed. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, smiling wide. Slowly opening her door, she sees that the bathroom door is closed. She walks over and hears water running inside. She hesitates, and then knocks three times. “Who’s in there? I gotta brush my teeth and stuff!” A muffled response: “Piss off, Annie.” Annie softly gasps and stands stick straight at the sound of Josie’s voice. “Um… Josie? How much longer?” An annoyed, monotone groan: “I don’t know.” Annie stammers for a second. “Um. Okay, well I gotta brush my teeth and stuff!” No response. … The whole time she is getting ready, she repeats his text in her head, smiling wider with each “hang out.” Hang out? Is it a… no, it’s not a date. It’s not. Right? She throws on a plain white tank top, blue jeans, and a collared fleece jacket, half dark green and half light beige. She laces up her Timberlands and looks at herself in the mirror. She pulls her wavy blond hair into a half-ponytail, leaving her bangs messily falling over her forehead. Reaching for her phone in her pocket and rereading the text, she grins and her cheeks start to burn. Again. She jumps down the stairs into the kitchen where Hanna is making breakfast and Josie is leaning against the kitchen table, noticeably… more presentable? The orange morning sun shines through the windows and into the kitchen, illuminating it fully with purely natural light. Annie stands stick straight and looks at both of them with a big stupid cheesy grin on her face. “What’s up!” Hanna looks over and smirks. “You’re pretty cheerful this morning.” Annie nods and puts her hand over her pocket where her phone is. “This boy just messaged me from my history class.” Annie happens to glance at Josie whose dark, glazed-over eyes drill through hers. She quickly averts her gaze. Hanna turns around. “Really? What’s his name?” Annie’s eyes dart around and settle on the ceiling. Her face turns red as his name echoes in her head. “Um…” Hanna leans a bit closer from across the room, squinting her eyes. Annie hesitates a few more times before she spits it out. “Jeremy.” She picks up a slight jerk from Josie who is otherwise unreadable. … As Annie and Hanna clean the kitchen, Josie is locked away in her room again. Hanna smoothly moves from the sink to the table, collects the dishes, and takes them back to the sink, scrubs them clean, and puts them on a spread-out rag on the counter to dry. Annie is studying her face the whole time. Blank. The water from the sink is running. The dishes clank together. Annie pulls out her phone again. Nothing. She quickly shoves it back into her pocket. She gazes up the dim stairway. “It’s gotten worse.” Hanna stops for a moment and glances back at Annie. “Hm?” Annie stays looking up the stairway. “She’s gotten worse.” Hanna turns back to her work. No response. Annie takes a few steps toward Hanna. “Don’t you think she’s gotten worse?” Hanna wipes off the counter with a rag. Annie’s eyes follow her movements. “Hanna.” Hanna takes a swig of water from her glass that’s sitting on the table and then puts it in the sink. Annie persists. “Hello?” Hanna grabs her bookbag that’s hanging on the back of a chair, slings it on, and glances up at Annie. “It’s time to go. Go get Josie.” Hanna swings the front door open and swiftly walks out, leaving it open behind her. As she walks down the driveway, her light gray skirt gently trails behind her in the cool morning breeze. Annie is left standing there, alone, in the quiet only broken by the hum of the refrigerator and the wall clock ticking quietly. Her brow is furrowed and she turns from the door and takes a few steps towards the foot of the stairs and yells up them: “We’re leaving!” Her voice carries through the house. No response. … In history class, her stomach slightly uneasy from lunch just a few minutes before, Annie doesn’t have her notebook open. Her head is leaning up against her hand as she watches the doorway. And she watches. And she watches. And he’s early. He lumbers in a little faster than normal and drops into the seat next to Annie. She tries to hide her smile. “Hey.” Oh right, that’s why she’s anxious. He quickly takes a sip from his water bottle and shoves it back into his bookbag. “Josie is your sister?” Annie’s eyes widen. “Um. Yeah?” Jeremy blinks. “Yall two look nothing alike.” Annie furrows her brow. “Yeah we do…” Jeremy stares at her. Then blinks again. “I mean… I guess kinda…” Annie tightly smiles with her brow still furrowed. “I… Why is THAT what you came in with?” Jeremy turns forward in his seat and pulls out his laptop. “I talked to her at lunch.” Annie’s smile fades and she leans closer. “About…?” “You.” “Oh…” She continues: “I bet I know what she said.” “What’s that.” “That I’m like… a gnat or something.” “Nah.” “Well what did she say?” “She like… asked if you were cool or something. Like if I thought you were cool and if I thought she was cooler than you. I dunno.” Annie looks at the ground and scratches her ear. “That doesn’t really sound like her.” Jeremy opens up his laptop and slumps forward in his chair. “I dunno. She’s weird.” Annie listens intently with a blank expression. Jeremy continues: “Like she’s always trying to talk to me.” Annie dazes off, and Josie’s sharp voice reaches into her mind from the morning and her finger is inches from Annie’s face again: You shut up. Annie’s smile is completely gone now and she stares for a moment longer before slowly turning back toward Jeremy. His eyes are glued to his screen. “She… probably likes you.” Her lips tighten after she says that. Jeremy glances over at her for a moment before returning to his game and shrugs. “I guess.” Annie smirks. A pause. “So. What are we gonna do.” Jeremy doesn’t look at her. “About what.” She grins wider and gently hits Jeremy in the arm. He hardly reacts. “About our hangout!” “Oh yeah. Um… I don’t really know yet.” Annie turns back around in her desk chair and slumps down, her smile fading slightly. The teacher begins his lecture. … As he goes back and sits at his desk and the rest of the class begins to pack up, Annie scans back over her scribbled page of notes and sighs. She slowly closes her notebook and gently slides it into her black bookbag. She glances up at Jeremy who is closing his laptop. “Hey.” He looks down at her. “Hey.” She slowly stands up and slings on her bookbag. “So… Just let me know what the plans are, alright?” “Alright.” She forces a smile and turns toward the door. “See ya.” “Bye Annie...” … The dim, dingy halls are packed with kids, and she catches whiffs of sweat and cheap perfume as she shuffles shoulder to shoulder, to the door to the bus lot. Sliding her way through the still-closing metal door, the thick, humid air wraps itself around her like a wet towel. Thicker clouds have rolled in through the day, and a gust of wind periodically throws a raindrop onto the ground. Annie walks along the hill beside the bus lot with her hands shoved in her pockets, making her way towards a tree with bright green spring leaves. Underneath stands Hanna, watching Annie approach. When she reaches the tree she drops her bookbag onto the ground with a thud and sighs. “I can’t tell with him…” Hanna glances over. “With who?” “Jeremy. That boy I told you about.” “Oh yeah. Well… what do you mean you can’t tell with him?” “He’s like… a wall.” “A wall?” “Yeah. Like I can’t get anything out of him. I can’t tell if he likes me or not.” “Well, he asked you to hang out didn’t he?” Annie sighs again. “I mean, yeah, but I asked him about it today, like if he had any plans or anything for it, and he said he didn’t really know.” Hanna shrugs her shoulders. “Go ask him about it.” Annie furrows her brow and looks at Hanna. “‘Bout freakin what?” Hanna scans the bus lot and spots Jeremy leaning up against the wall of the school building and points in his direction. “Is that him?” Annie follows her finger and spots Jeremy also. “...Yeah.” “Just go talk to him about it.” Annie looks up at Hanna again. “About. What.” “Well what would YOU like to do when yall hang out?” Annie glances at the ground and shrugs sharply. “I dunno, like… go to a park or somethin…” Hanna looks back out at the crowd of kids under the awning, focusing on Jeremy, and leans back up against the tree. “Then go tell him that.” Annie sighs again and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and begins walking, head down, performing relaxation, in Jeremy’s direction. The wind picks up and a raindrop hits her nose. She glances up and spots a figure in a black T-shirt and baggy navy blue jogging pants swiftly walking–more like stumbling–toward Jeremy, with messy brown hair concealing her face until a gust of wind blows it away. Okay don’t even bother. Annie stops on a dime and whips around one-eighty degrees and trudges back toward Hanna. She trudges back up the hill and reaches Hanna with her head down. “Josie’s talking to him.” Hanna glances over but doesn’t speak. Annie crosses her arms tightly and stares down at her feet. “He told me today she keeps trying to talk to him. And he didn’t know we were sisters.” Hanna stays quiet, staring into the distance at Josie and Jeremy. Annie soon does the same. They see Josie step closer to Jeremy, her hands folded together. Jeremy’s back is against the wall. Then a rusty yellow bus pulls into the lot and squeals to a stop, blocking their view. The diesel stings their noses. They turn to each other. Annie sighs and drops her head back down. … At home again, alone in her cool, dark room, Annie sits slumped on the edge of her bed, listening to the raindrops fall against her window. I didn’t do anything. She looks over at her door and slowly stands up and walks towards it and gently opens it. Quietly, deliberately placing each foot on the carpet through the dark hallway to the end, where a warm light spills out from under Hanna’s door, she happens to glance to her left at the table under the window at the end of the hallway, where a photograph in an ornate metal frame sits on top. It’s always been there. There’s a layer of dust on the frame and on the glass. Annie runs her forefinger across the top of the frame, the dust sticking. She rubs her forefinger and thumb together. In the picture stands a tall, broad middle-aged man wearing a button-up shirt, jeans, dirty blond hair, and thin-framed glasses. He’s smiling wide. In his arms, a young blond-headed girl in a green shirt is leaning sideways, arms out, laughing. On a dark blue rug on the floor, sitting criss-cross, a middle-aged woman with thicker glasses and darker hair, wearing khakis and a black button-up shirt. Beside her sits another young blond headed girl, slightly smiling with a toy in her hands. She leans in closer, inspecting the picture. Where’s Josie? In the dark background, behind the woman’s right shoulder, she can barely make out a figure with long, light-brown hair in a baggy grey shirt looking over her shoulder at the camera but not smiling. Annie stands back up straight and looks behind her at Josie’s door at the other end of the hall. She takes a single step toward Josie’s door and sniffles once, before continuing, quietly, the rest of the way to the door. When she reaches the door, she raises her fist and hesitates. She knocks. Then knocks again. There’s no response. She glances back down the hallway toward the picture on the table. Then back to the door. She knocks again. Josie’s voice can barely be heard from the inside: “Stop.” Annie opens her mouth to say something, but stops, and drops her hand back to her side. She gazes down the hallway again toward the picture and whispers to the closed door, her voice nearly inaudible: “I’m sorry.” Starting back down the hallway, she shoves her hands in her pockets and hunches her shoulders forward and knocks on Hanna’s door when she gets there. “Hanna.” Silence, then Hanna’s feet block the light at the bottom and she slowly opens the door for Annie. Annie steps inside and gently scoops the door closed with her foot. She takes one more step forward, lip quivering, then collapses into Hanna’s arms. Hanna’s eyes widen and she takes a step back to catch Annie. “Woah woah what’s wrong?” Annie looks up at Hanna with tears rolling down her cheeks. “It’s… us… I don’t know…” She stands back up and flops onto Hanna’s neatly made bed face-first. Hanna purses her lips tightly. Annie tries to talk but her voice is muffled: “I… Josie always… she… we… she was like…” Hanna stays put. “What?” “It was us.” Hanna yanks her old wooden desk chair from under her desk and drops herself onto it. It creaks as she sits. “Annie, what are you talking about.” Annie flops over onto her back, tears still in her eyes. “That’s why Josie is like that… Us.” Hanna furrows her brow. “Us? We… didn’t do anything…” Annie spreads her arms out beside her. “I don’t know… maybe not intentionally… or whatever… but…” Hanna stares at Annie with a blank expression. Annie continues with a sigh: “That’s why she is the way she is.” Hanna snaps back: “Annie, we didn’t do anything to her to make her like that. It’s… not our fault. I don’t know why she is the way she is but it’s not cuz of us.” Annie sits up and wipes away a tear with her knuckle. With a sigh, Hanna leans back into her chair before continuing: “Look I mean… we try to invite her to stuff… stuff with us. At a certain point it’s just her. She does it to herself.” Hanna scoots toward the edge of her seat and leans toward Annie whose face is still red and streaked with dried tears. She continues: “Annie, I… you can’t repeat this… but… I don’t even like her that much. I don’t even really want to hang out with her. But I try anyway… at least to get her out. But–” Hanna stops and glances away and sighs. “–at this point it’s like… why bother…” Hanna looks back up at Annie who is still wiping away tears. She weakly clears her throat, and with a hoarse, quiet voice: “Yeah…” Hanna watches her from the chair, quietly, blankly. The raindrops still softly tap against the window. Annie rubs her nose. “I think… this whole thing with that boy has kinda got me messed up… like… I don’t know…” She pauses again for another moment. “I just feel bad for Josie. But like, what am I gonna do, talk to her?” Hanna rubs her eye and finally responds: “Right.” Annie slowly scoots off the bed and lowers herself onto the floor and steps toward the door. Hanna doesn’t turn around to face her. Turning the knob and opening the door, Annie looks back over her shoulder and whispers to Hanna: “Thank you.” Hanna nods. Annie pulls the door closed and it clicks behind her. In the dark hallway again, Annie glances at the family photo, the mark from where she wiped the dust off reflecting what little light spills in through the curtains of the window behind it. She sighs and continues to her room. When she gets there, she collapses into her bed. The springs squeak when she lands. Snatching her phone up from beside her pillow, she sees a text from Jeremy: Friday after school we get icecream. Sound good? She smiles, barely, but it quickly fades. She opens the text message and reluctantly begins to type: Sure But she doesn’t send it. She turns her phone off and drops it onto the bed beside her, grabs a fistful of her blanket and yanks it over her body, curling up into a ball and tries to fall asleep. Too much. … Eyes cracking open, vision blurry, she wakes up to a dim grey room. Her hand pats around for her phone and when she finds it her fingers slowly wrap around it. She pulls it up to her face and checks the time. 6:34 PM. Rainwater can still be heard trickling through the gutters outside though the rain has calmed to a slight drizzle. She sits her head up and notices the light from the hallway flooding in under her door. She kicks the blanket off of her and throws her legs over the edge of her bed and stands up to walk out. Opening the door, she pokes her head out and looks to her left. Hanna’s door is cracked open. In front of her and slightly to the right, Josie’s door is closed, as usual. As she descends the staircase, she begins to hear two voices talking in the kitchen: Hanna’s, soothing and monotone, contrasted with their mother’s, weak and tired. She can also make out some noise from the TV in the living room. Annie continues down the staircase and quietly descends down the last steps. She overhears Hanna: “...trouble between all of us. And I’m tired of being caught up in it. I had nothing to do with any of this.” Her mother croaks an “mhm.” “I’m tired of her shit–crap… sorry. It just… gets on my nerves… and I think about this a lot… It’s like… she’s mean because she can’t deal with people… she can’t deal with anything… and–” Her mother cuts her off and weakly states: “–Well eventually she’ll just have to learn to deal with people.” Hanna steps toward her. “Mom… You… Quit being passive… This is your job. It’s not mine. I’m not supposed to act as emotional support all the time for my sisters. We are YOUR children. You have to step up.” Their mother sighs and groans: “Hanna… please don’t do this right now, I’m fucking exhausted… Josie will be fine. Being a teenager is tough, I know, I was one–” Hanna cuts her off and almost shouts: “Mom. She’s not fine. She’s never BEEN fine. She’s eighteen years old, she’s a legal adult, and she’s still like… that… and she’s getting worse. It’s to the point where I worry I’m gonna walk into her room one day and she’s gonna be laying there and…” A tear begins to well in Annie’s eye. She takes a step back up one of the stairs and sits down on the staircase, knees to her chest. She tunes back into Hanna: “...nobody had thought to check on her so… I know… It’s probably… I’m probably overreacting… but seriously…” No response from their mother, but Annie can hear shuffling, growing quieter with each step, into the living room. She hears a sigh from Hanna who also begins shuffling, socks against hardwood, toward the staircase. When Hanna looks up the staircase she gasps and jumps before relaxing. “Annie…” Annie wipes another tear away. “I heard everything.” She stands up. Hanna begins to ascend the staircase. When they reach the hallway they both glance at Josie’s door. Annie gazes into Hanna’s eyes. They’re wet and shiny and tears have begun to collect at the bottom. Annie had only seen Hanna cry once before. Last night. Hanna sniffs once. “I just don’t know. We need to talk to her but…” They glance again at her door. Annie softly asks: “Should we?” Hanna raises her fist and knocks three times on Josie’s door. No response. Hanna puts her face close to the door. “Josie.” No response. Hanna glances back at Annie. Annie nods once. The doorknob turns and Hanna slowly pushes the door in. The light from the hallway spills into Josie’s messy room. The smell slams the two twins in the face immediately. They slowly scan the room together. Dirty clothes are haphazardly scattered around the floor. Snack wrappers and drink cans have collected themselves around and on the bed. An empty orange prescription pill bottle, a laptop, and her signature slides that they’ve never seen her wear anything but, are all clustered on the floor next to her bedside table that is also covered with a bunch of crap. The walls are bare. There are a few stuffed animals on a shelf above the bed. Who knows how long they’ve sat there untouched. It’s been years since Hanna or Annie have been in here. Movement under the covers of the bed catches the twins’ attention. Josie jerks her head up. “No.” She swats with her hand toward the door. “Go away.” Hanna lowers her head and takes a gentle step in, carefully putting more weight on her front foot like she’s afraid the floor will cave in. Annie stays put. “We… We have to talk to you.” Josie sits up higher and swats harder, and in a hoarse, raspy voice: “No. You don’t. Get out.” Slowly, step by step, the twins proceed into the dark room. Annie follows directly behind Hanna, peeking over her sister’s shoulder. Josie raises her voice: “Stop. What the fuck are you doing.” Hanna continues in. “Josie we have to talk to you.” “YALL CAN YOU– FUCK. GET OUT.” “Josie please, this is really important.” Josie kicks the blanket off of her and swings her legs over the side of the bed. She starts toward Hanna and slinks her way between dirty laundry on the floor. “I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. GET–” Josie lunges toward Hanna and sharply shoves her out of the doorway. Hanna swings her arm out for balance, her elbow stabbing Annie squarely in the chest. Annie stumbles backward and slaps against her own bedroom door, her legs still extended into the middle of the floor of the hallway. The thud reverberates through the walls of the hallway. “–THE FUCK–” Hanna trips backwards over Annie’s feet and falls onto the floor, landing hard on her hip. “–OUT.” Josie pauses and glares down at them, eyes wide, then grabs the edge of the door and swings her arm, slamming the door shut with a slap. It rings in the twins’ ears as they slowly rise back up to their feet and simply exchange knowing looks. … Friday comes. Morning, a text from Jeremy confirming. Yes. Ok. Bus. Class. Lunch. Annie happens to spot Jeremy sitting at his regular table on his own, slowly eating from the styrofoam tray. She slowly walks toward his table. His eyes glance up toward her as she approaches. He looks back down at his tray. “Hey.” He takes a sip from the milk carton. “Hey.” “So. This afternoon…” She sits down across from him. “...How are we… gonna get there.” His response is quick: “I’ll borrow my dad’s car. Pick you up. If that’s fine.” Annie tilts her head to one side. “You drive?” He nods. “But… you ride the bus.” He nods again. “We don’t got an extra car.” She slowly nods. “Makes sense I guess.” He takes another sip from the carton. “I’ve had my license for a while now.” “I still need to get mine.” “It’s easy.” After lunch the two walk to their history class together. Conversation is slow, melancholy. They don’t look at each other but they walk in lockstep side by side all the way to the classroom. They walk in. No one notices. They sit down at their desks beside each other. Annie takes out her notebook. Jeremy takes out his laptop. Lecture begins. Lecture ends. They pack up. Annie stands up and slings on her bookbag. “I’ll text you my address. See ya later.” “Alright. See ya.” She nods and turns around to leave, looking back at him and smiling and waving. He slightly smiles and half-waves back. … At the tree again, Annie drops her bookbag on the ground and stands with Hanna, waiting for their bus. The sky is clear save for a few wispy cirrus clouds high in the atmosphere. The air is cool from the rain from the past few days and occasionally a cool gust of wind bites at Annie’s face. “We’re getting ice cream this evening.” Hanna puts her phone in her pocket and glances toward Annie. “Hm?” Annie rolls her eyes. “Me and Jeremy. The boy.” Hanna nervously smiles and scratches the bridge of her nose, eyes darting. “Oh. Right. Well, how are yall gonna get there.” “He’s gonna pick me up.” “But he rides the bus.” “His dad’s car.” “Why doesn’t he drive to school if he can drive?” “They don’t have an extra car.” “Oh. Okay. Well, that’ll be fun.” A pause. Annie looks up at the sky, then scans the treeline behind the bus lot, her eyes continuing until she sees the mass of kids under the awning and then against the brick facade of the school building, where Jeremy leans, hunched over his phone. She begins to slowly sway back and forth. Hanna takes notice. “Nervous?” Annie tries to hide her smile. “...Yeah.” “You really like this boy huh.” “I mean… He’s fine… It’s just… I’ve never done anything like this before.” Hanna smiles and wistfully gazes off into the lot again… “You’ll be fine.” …And her smile soon fades. She furrows her brow. “Annie. Look.” Annie follows Hanna’s gaze. A figure in a dark hoodie and the same navy blue joggers is talking to Jeremy again. She takes a single step forward and stares intently at the exchange. Jeremy takes a step back and puts his arm out in front of him as he slowly moves backwards. Josie advances forward. The twins can pick up a shrill sound from the distance. A few kids in the back of the crowd under the awning begin to turn toward the exchange. More follow. “WHY DO YOU HATE ME.” Jeremy’s mouth moves as he steps backwards again, but he’s too far, or too quiet, to hear. Josie falls onto her knees and curls into a ball on the pavement. Kids stare at her from a safe distance, effectively making a semi-circle around her crumpled figure. Jeremy makes a quick getaway to the opposite end of the bus lot, along the fence separating the lot from the woods, directly across from Annie and Hanna. He glances up at them and he and Annie lock eyes. And he shrugs. And she shrugs. … At home, Annie stares at herself in the mirror, scanning and analyzing her outfit, her hair, her face. She puts her hair up. Then lets it down. She tries on a flannel shirt. Then puts her regular jacket back on. Turns to the side. Pulls her Converse onto her feet. Then takes them off and puts back on the Timberlands. She turns on her phone that sits on her dresser and checks the clock. 5:51 PM Not gonna be ready in time. Her phone buzzes. Jeremy: Almost there She puts her hands behind her head and takes a deep breath. Then stares at herself in the mirror and wonders how she ended up wearing the same thing she always wears and frowns. Fine I’ll try something different. …and the dress-up game begins again. She finally settles on the converse and her light green flannel, and lets her hair down but keeps a hair tie on her wrist just in case. Jumping down the stairs into the kitchen, she sees Hanna alone at the kitchen table drinking a soda and scrolling on her phone. The kitchen is illuminated only by the setting sun pouring in through the windows. Annie steps toward her. “What… are you doing down here alone?” Hanna sets her phone down and sighs. “I just… wanted to see you before you left.” Annie walks toward the table and tilts her head to one side. “Okay…” Hanna turns toward her and smiles weakly. “I’m happy for you, Annie.” “Thanks…?” Hanna stands up and throws her arms around Annie. Annie is frozen, wide-eyed. “Have fun. I love you.” “Um… I love you too…” Hanna drops her arms and lets go of Annie, who stumbles backwards. Just then they hear a knock at the front door. They both jump, and Annie, hand slightly shaking, slowly steps over to open it. The door creaks open and reveals Jeremy standing there in his same black jacket and joggers. “Hey.” Annie turns back toward Hanna who is grinning widely. She turns back to Jeremy and quickly looks down at the ground, trying to hide the smile and blush on her face. “You ready?” She nods. “Yeah.” Annie glances back and waves to Hanna. She waves back. Annie shuts the door behind her and she and Jeremy proceed to his dad’s shiny black Mustang. The late-afternoon sun bounces off the chrome rims and they can see their bent reflections in them as they approach the car. Jeremy hunches over to open the door and folds himself into the driver side. Annie slides into the passenger side next to him. She shoves her face into her shoulder to hide her smile, uncontrollable now. Jeremy silently shifts the car into drive and starts down the street. Annie glances over at him, he’s focused intently on the road ahead. She stutters: “I–I’m honestly… kind of nervous.” Jeremy stares forward, one hand on the wheel. “Don’t be.” Annie sharply exhales through her nose as a laugh. “How’d I know you’d say something like that.” Jeremy smirks and shrugs. Annie looks back forward as they turn onto a main road. “I’ve never done something like this before.” “What. Like hang out with somebody?” “Well like I’ve hung out with people outside of school obviously but I mean… something like THIS.” Jeremy slowly nods his head. “I know what you mean.” The road narrows as they slowly move into the old, downtown area of Hands Mill. A few groups of people are walking along the sidewalks paved with brick. Jeremy whips the car into a small parking lot and shifts it into park. It stops with a click. He turns off the ignition and glances at Annie. “Ready?” She nods. They exit the car and Annie stretches her arms and stares into the sky. The sun has set further now and it casts sharp, long shadows against gold-tinted surfaces. They walk along the sidewalk, Annie looking straight ahead, each step mechanically placed, one in front of the other. She tries not to bounce too high as she walks. She steadies her breathing. She fixes her hair. She pulls her overshirt further in front so it’s not hanging off her shoulders. Jeremy observes the facades of the buildings as they pass by them, his mouth slightly agape. Annie studies his expression. “You really seemed to know how to get here for someone who’s only lived in Hands Mill a few weeks.” “I planned the route. Then drove around here to scope it out.” “But just a few days ago you didn’t know what we were gonna do.” “I was looking on Google Maps at like one in the morning and I saw this ice cream place come up. So I was like, there we go, that’s what we’ll do.” “Google maps at one in the morning?” Jeremy shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s fun.” Annie smirks and rolls her eyes. “You’re very interesting, Jeremy.” They come up on the entrance to the ice cream shop. A family with three young girls exits, ice cream cones in hand. One of the young girls looks up at Annie and waves. She waves back. The pair enter the ice cream shop and order. Annie gets mint chocolate chip and Jeremy gets vanilla. Obviously. They step back outside and sit at a small metal table with two chairs. Jeremy stares at his ice cream cone for a second before speaking: “So… um…” Annie looks up at him. “...I really don’t know what to do about…” Annie finishes his sentence: “Josie?” He nods. “I mean you saw whatever that was earlier today.” Annie turns her head and looks up at how the sun only lights the very tops of the buildings now. She leans back in her seat and takes a lick of the ice cream before speaking: “I’ve… kind of… as of the past couple days… stopped trying to understand her.” “What do you mean understand.” “Well she’s my sister and I want to help her and everything, but like the other night my other sister and I–” “Other sister?” “...Yeah I have another sister–Hanna.” “Oh… okay… um… continue.” “...Anyway… we tried to talk to her in her room and she just… um… shut us out. So I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.” Jeremy is quiet. Annie continues to think out loud: “It’s… hard… to see her like this…” Jeremy nods. “...And she keeps having these meltdowns…” He nods again. “...And she’s… obsessive–” Jeremy cuts her off. “I can’t freaking get her to go away. I literally have a class with her and I sat on the complete OPPOSITE side of the room today… I got there early so that desk wouldn’t be occupied… And like… somehow she got there early too and took the desk right next to me. Even after I told her I wasn’t interested, she… She’s still trying to talk to me… Then like… you saw what she did at the bus lot today. I didn’t even do anything to provoke that. She just… did that shit.” Annie stares off. “...Yeah…” There’s silence between the two for a moment. A motorcycle passes by on a nearby street, the sound echoing off the walls of the old buildings. Jeremy is munching on the waffle cone. Annie stares at hers like some alien object. She takes another lick of her ice cream and slowly smacks her lips and slightly grimaces. “I kind of… don’t want this anymore.” Jeremy stops chewing and looks at her. “Really?” “...Yeah…” “Why not?” “...I just… can’t finish it.” “Oh. Okay.” She hesitates before extending her arm halfway toward Jeremy. “Do… you want it?” He looks at it. “...Nah…” “Alright.” She gets up and steps over to a nearby trash can and holds the cone over it, ice cream beginning to drip down and land inside. She glances back toward Jeremy who is watching a man ride by on a bicycle. “Are you sure you don’t want the rest?” He doesn’t face her. “Nah.” She turns back around and stares at the cone again. And doesn’t drop it in. And doesn’t drop it in. And then finally she lets go of it and it falls into the trash can. And her hand is free. She rubs her sticky fingers together and steps inside the ice cream shop to wash her hands. When she returns outside to Jeremy he is leaning against the wall of the building with his hands in his pockets. She looks up at him. “So. Is that all?” “Um. I don’t really want it to be.” Annie smiles and looks at the ground. “Me neither.” Jeremy scratches his head. “Um. I obviously… don’t know of much to do around here. So–” Annie pipes up: “We could… go to the river.” “How do you get there.” “I’ll navigate you.” “Alright.” The sky is beginning to turn purple as the sun sinks below the horizon. The pair once again walk in lockstep down the brick-paved sidewalk. Annie eyeballs Jeremy’s left hand as it hardly swings while they walk. Interlock? Or no…? Do I just– And they’re at the car again. Jeremy leaves her side and enters the driver side. Annie blinks. Oh. She gets in the passenger seat. They pull out of the parking lot and proceed down the road. She points out a turn, the first of two they need to take, and then silently watches the road ahead, illuminated in the headlights. The buildings become more sparse and houses become more run-down as they proceed down the road out of the town and into the country. A sign for the river park is pointed out by Annie and they pull in. A few streetlights illuminate the driveway and the empty parking lot. They get out of the car and proceed to a bench overlooking the flowing river. Rocks poke out from the water and on top lay a few slider turtles. They sit beside each other on the bench. Annie scoots closer. Jeremy stays staring forward. He speaks up: “It’s pretty here.” “Yeah.” Annie looks down and eyeballs Jeremy’s hand again, which is resting on his knee. “Um. Jeremy?” “Yeah?” “Do you wanna um…” Still staring forward. “Do you wanna um… hold hands?” He looks at her. “What?” Crap. “I said… do you wanna… hold… hands?” He smiles. “Oh. Sure.” He gently grabs her hand and they slowly interlock fingers while gazing over the river, reflecting the fiery red and purple sky where the sun has just set. Exhaling the tension, she gradually leans to her left, and rests her head on Jeremy’s shoulder. She can feel him sit slightly straighter. … The Mustang pulls away as Annie waves back at it, standing in the driveway of the house in the dark. She turns around and approaches the doorstep illuminated by the porch light, smiling and replaying the evening in her head. She opens the front door to reveal Josie standing just beyond the threshold, glaring down at her. Annie’s heart drops. “Oh… Hey Josie.” “Annie I am going to fucking murder you.” “...What?” “I’m going to murder you. You went out with him.” Annie takes a step back and blinks. “I… um…” Josie steps forward with a finger pointed into Annie’s face. “You. You couldn’t help yourself. You and your sister… yall love seeing me suffer. I can’t have anything. I can’t have ANYTHING.” Tears welling, Annie sneaks a glance behind Josie at the wide-open door. She steps off to the side and rushes in, slamming the door behind her and quickly turning the lock while Josie furiously shakes the doorknob. “YOU PIECE OF SHIT.” Hanna descends down the stairs into the kitchen in pajamas. “Fuck was that?” Annie, catching her breath: “Josie… she… I was scared.” Josie’s shrill voice, muffled by the door, continues to shout at Annie: “LET ME IN YOU SHIT TURD.” Hanna glances between Annie and the door before slowly unlocking it. Josie stumbles in and lunges toward Annie and grips Annie’s throat, squeezing with both of her hands. Annie stumbles back and tries to pry Josie’s hands off of her. “I TOLD YOU I’M GONNA MURDER YOU.” Hanna jumps toward Josie and grabs her shoulders and yanks Josie off of Annie who trips and catches herself against the refrigerator and gasps for air. Josie flails her arm behind her, smacking Hanna in the temple. Hanna, her hands still on Josie’s shoulders, shoves her backwards. Josie stumbles backwards and hits the counter. Hanna shoves a finger in Josie’s face. “I am sick of your shit. This–” She points to Annie who is rubbing her neck, tears welling in her eyes. “–is the last damn straw.” Hanna whips around and starts toward the stairs. Josie’s eyes widen and she turns toward Hanna and begins to follow behind her. “What. What are you doing.” Hanna continues up the stairs. Josie’s hands climb up her head and begin tugging at chunks of her hair. “Hanna… HANNA.” She drops to her knees at the base of the stairs and tears begin streaming down her face. Annie watches from the other side of the kitchen, her neck still stinging red. Josie glances towards her, eyes full of tears. “Annie… please… tell her to stop…” Annie looks at the ground, still rubbing her neck, and starts toward the base of the stairs, not looking at Josie as she passes her. She can feel Josie’s gaze behind her as she plants one foot in front of the other, ascending the stairs. In the hallway, Hanna’s door is open, the usual warm glow spilling out into the hallway. She can hear Hanna’s deliberate voice speaking, responding to something inaudible. “…Well… this isn’t the first time this has happened… okay… okay… she—she won’t get charged will she?” Annie glances at Josie’s door, wide open. For once. Josie’s pleas to Annie echo up the stairs. “Annie, please…” Annie glances behind her, then back towards Hanna’s door, then beside it to the table where the old photo sites. Instead of proceeding down the hall, Annie gently opens the door to her own room and ducks in. She lowers herself onto the edge of her bed and takes her phone out of her pocket and opens her conversation with Jeremy: I had fun tonight.

Shorter than part 1 but I enjoyed writing it nonetheless. Part 3 coming eventually lol.

-T-